Life and it's Many Stepping Stones: The Hmong Wedding

Life is constantly changing and sometimes I simply don't accept it until I'm a part of it. I'm always amazed by people who can make life-changing decisions, because I've always been a bit afraid of change. But over this past week, I was part of a beautiful change, one that I've been anticipating for a very long time now. But I have to admit, looking back now, I'm still adjusting to this change.

Two weeks ago, two of my closest childhood friends got married, to each other. There was our gang of five year olds who grew up playing in dirt together, and as the years passed, each one of them has gone on with their own lives and now most of them are either married or married with children. And now that these two are married, there's only a few of us left to bear the pressure and worrisome questions of our future as forever single individuals.

The drive north, stopping for lunch. What's on the menu: boiled chicken, rice, and cucumbers
(this is what's one the menu for the entire wedding).

Nonetheless, this weekend was a reminder to me that no matter where life takes you, you will end up where you're suppose to with who you're suppose to be with if it's meant to be.

I wanted to take this space and explain a little bit about the proceedings of a traditional Hmong wedding, but as I got 1/10 of the way into it, I realized I was leaving out too much details and I started to feel like I was writing a book, because that's what a discussion on such a topic requires. I deleted the five page essay I wrote and decided to do something simpler, something more informal, and this is what we have, a brief blog post.

Wedding and dowry negotiations the night before the wedding.
If a dollar amount is not agreed on, they will be no wedding.
This process can take a few hours or a few days. We were up only until 2 am.

Left: butchering a whole pig for the wedding
Middle and left: the mej koob offers each male member of the family 2 shots and a piece of chicken, not too sure what this process entails (let me know if you do)

Top 2 pictures: drinking, no hands
Bottom left: parties from both the bride and groom sides dissect the beck of the chicken to foretell the marriage of the couple, whoever gets a negative reading must drink (saib yaig)
Bottom right: wedding song

Left: the send off chicken, wishes the bride luck in life as well as any other lady who shares the chicken
Middle: as we leave the parents of bride's house, the mej koob divides a whole chicken between mother and daughter
Right: before we leave, anyone from the bride's family can give the green lady (equivalent to a maid of honor) a drink as a token of her acceptance of a new family member

This particular wedding took place in Oregon and thus there was a 12 hour trip involved, but it was well worth it, both ways. There were 12 of there crammed into a 12 passenger van, and all they way there and back we all slept, so major thanks to our driver who safely delivered us to Oregon and home again.